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Family history interview questions to ask your relatives
The best family history interviews use a few open questions, asked one at a time, and write down who said what. Here are 55 questions from Fill In the Dots, grouped by topic, with a free printable copy and what to do with the answers.
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Short answer: ask open questions (“What do you remember about…?”) rather than yes-or-no ones, start with names and places, and choose five or six for one conversation. Write down each answer with who said it, and treat it as a lead to check, not a fact to argue about.
What should I ask my grandparents first?
Start with the questions records can use: full names at birth, their parents’ and grandparents’ names, and the places the family lived. Then move to everyday life and the stories everyone has heard. The same questions work for parents, aunts and uncles, and family friends.
What should I do before I ask?
- Say why you’re asking. For example: “I’m putting together the family history, and you remember things nobody else does.”
- Ask permission to take notes or record, and agree how you’ll use what they tell you. Will you share it with the family, or put anything online? The Oral History Association and the Smithsonian’s interviewing guide both start here.
- Bring something to look at. Photographs, a map, or your family tree with its gaps bring back memories that questions alone don’t.
- Choose a handful of questions, not all of them. Names, places and dates come up naturally once people start remembering.
55 questions to ask, by topic
The hardest questions are at the end and always optional.
Names and the people behind them
Names are what you’ll search for. Ask for full names, birth surnames and nicknames. Leads to: birth, marriage and death records, under the names people used at the time.
- What was your full name when you were born? Who were you named after?
- What did people call you as a child? Were there family nicknames?
- What were your parents’ full names — including the surnames they were born with?
- What were your grandparents’ names? What did you call them?
- Did anyone in the family change their name, or spell it differently? Why?
- Were there names that came down the family — the same first name in every generation?
Places and moves
Records are kept by place, so every town, parish and street name is a lead. Leads to: census records and city directories for each address, and the records kept by each town or county.
- Where were you born? Was it at home or in a hospital?
- What addresses do you remember living at? What were the houses like?
- Where did your parents and grandparents grow up?
- Did the family ever move a long way? What made them decide to go?
- Is there a town or village the family always talked about as “home”?
- Where are your parents and grandparents buried?
Parents and grandparents
One or two generations back is often the generation records can reach first. Leads to: census records, which list whole households, and birth, marriage and death records.
- What do you remember most about your grandparents?
- What work did your parents do? Where did they work?
- How did your parents meet? Where and when did they marry?
- Did your parents have brothers and sisters? What happened to them?
- Who in the family was the storyteller? What stories did they tell?
- Were there relatives you heard about but never met?
Home and everyday life
Easy, happy questions that bring back details, and often names, dates and places along the way. Leads to: census records, which show who lived in each household.
- What did a usual Sunday — or day of rest — look like when you were young?
- What foods remind you of home? Who cooked them?
- How did the family celebrate holidays and birthdays?
- Which languages were spoken at home? Did anyone speak a language the children didn’t?
- Who were the neighbors and family friends you remember best?
- Were there family sayings, songs or recipes that everyone knew?
School, work and military service
These leave paper trails. Leads to: school registers, union and company records, draft cards and military service files.
- Which schools did you go to? Do you remember a favorite teacher?
- What was your first job? How much were you paid?
- Did anyone in the family serve in the military? When, and where?
- Did anyone belong to a union, club, lodge or church society?
- Did anyone run a business, farm or shop?
Relatives who came from another country
If the family came from elsewhere, the name of the town they left is the single most useful thing to learn. Leads to: passenger lists, naturalization records, and the records of the town they left.
- Who was the first in our family to come to this country? Do you know when?
- Do you know the name of the town or village they came from?
- How did they travel? Did they ever talk about the journey?
- Did they keep in touch with family back home? Are there letters?
- Did anyone become a citizen? Do you know when or where?
Faith, traditions and community
Congregations kept registers of baptisms, marriages and burials long before many governments did. Leads to: church registers, and the newspapers of the community.
- Did the family belong to a church, synagogue, mosque, temple or other community?
- Where were people in the family baptized, married or buried?
- What traditions came from the family’s background or country of origin?
- Was there a community hall, cultural club or newspaper the family was part of?
Papers, photographs and keepsakes
Always ask. People rarely think to mention the box in the closet. Leads to: certificates, letters, family Bibles and photographs at home, with dates and places to search.
- Do you have any family photographs? Can we look at them together?
- Is there a family Bible, prayer book or baby book with names written in it?
- Who has the old papers — certificates, letters, passports, discharge papers?
- Is there anything you were given that belonged to a grandparent?
Family stories and legends
Write stories down just as they’re told, and who told them. Many have a true core. Leads to: old newspapers and records that can show which part of a story holds.
- What story about our family has everyone heard?
- Who told you that story? Where do you think they heard it?
- Is there a family story about being related to someone famous, or about a fortune lost?
- Is there a story you always wondered about?
Hard times and changes
Ask gently, only if it feels right, and accept “I’d rather not.” Painful memories are not owed to anyone.
- How did the family get through hard times — a war, a depression, an illness?
- Were there people the family lost touch with? Do you know why?
- Is there anything about the family you think should be remembered, that hasn’t been?
- Is there anything you’d prefer I not write down or share?
Questions for a photograph
Bring photographs and ask one picture at a time. Write the answers on a sheet kept with the photo, not on the photo itself.
- Who is in this photograph? Can you name everyone, left to right?
- Where was it taken? Do you recognize the house, street or town?
- When might it be? What makes you think so — clothes, a car, someone’s age?
- What was the occasion?
- Who kept this photograph, and how did it come to you?
Free printable family history interview questions (PDF)
Free to print and share. No email address needed.
How do I ask so people keep talking?
- One question at a time, and let silences sit. People often add the best detail after a pause.
- Ask for spellings and places: “How would that be spelled? Where was that, exactly?”
- Ask how they know, gently. “Who told you that?” isn’t a challenge. It tells you whether a memory is first-hand or a story passed down.
- Don’t correct. If what they say doesn’t match what you’ve heard, write it down anyway. Disagreements are clues.
- Follow their lead. If a question touches something painful, let them decide whether to go on.
What do I do with the answers?
Write it up the same day, while it’s fresh. Note who said each thing and, if they heard it from someone else, who that was. Mark every new fact as said: someone told you, and no record has been checked yet. Then list what to check, and send a thank-you with a copy of your notes if they’d like one. Respect what they asked you to keep private, and the privacy of living relatives when you share (National Genealogical Society).
Ready to check what you heard? Start with our guide to free genealogy websites, and keep a research log as you go.
If the conversation brings out photographs and stories you want to keep together, Shoebox to Storybook, also from Wren & Co., is a kit for turning old photos and family stories into a family storybook.
Questions people ask
How do I start a family history interview?
Say why you’re asking, ask permission to take notes or record, and agree how you’ll share what they tell you. Bring something to look at, such as photographs or your family tree with its gaps, and begin with easy questions about names and places.
Should I record the conversation?
Only with permission. A phone’s voice-memo app is enough. Ask again at the start of the recording so their agreement is on it, and tell them who will hear it. Some people talk more freely without a recorder, and notes are fine too.
What if a relative remembers something differently?
Write it down anyway, with who said it. Different memories are clues, not mistakes. Later, records can show which version is supported, or that both hold part of the truth.
How long should a family history interview be?
About 45 minutes is plenty, and less if the person tires. You can always come back. Phone and video calls work well too.
Who should I talk to first?
The oldest relatives you can reach, then cousins, in-laws and family friends. People who heard the stories from a different branch often remember different things.
Sources
- Principles and Best Practices for Oral History, Oral History Association (adopted Oct 2018). Read 8 October 2026.
- Smithsonian Folklife and Oral History Interviewing Guide, Smithsonian Center for Folklife and Cultural Heritage. Read 8 October 2026.
- Guidelines for Sharing Information with Others, National Genealogical Society. Read 8 October 2026.